diary



I have no idea what's going on.

u told me that u want to marry me and we will live in Vancouver,however it seems that we will married only if I get the ubc admission otherwise u arenot intersted to getting married to me. why am I telling that?.

its crystal clear,ur parents dont talk to mine untill now however we should be in rush because in a time that I get it we have to start our process immedietly but from this way of behave,My guess is u are waiting for the result and if it'll be in the way which u want,u want me either and if not u will break up with me.

I know that I am pessimistic but why u dont ask ur parents to start the marriage process?!

seee I dont see any reason that what is in my mind.

on the other hand u told me that after my admission u will tell me what I have to and the marriage process would be at Auguest(Mordad).

It's just u are fooling me with some fake promises which are based on what will come next.

If it was about choosing me.u had ask ur parents to things but as u said u just told them that I want to leave the country and my admission for UBC is ur key.

U always kept telling me that I made up stories but u never though that its ur behaviour that brought them,put them into my head?

u just talking about living in Vancouver.not living with me.


u kept distance from me.

I told u it's the consequence of it but u didn accept it and now i m the one who id suffering from it

my mind is not going to keep calm.

in a week u didnt look for me. not to talk not to see.however somehow u rejected me.

u refused to hold my hand.Why? I am ur girlbut u didnt want to others to know it

whats going on?! for the sake of GOD say sth

being with someone and after that feeling not wanted anymore is killing me from inside and outside

its been a week since we were together and u take some distance


My dear AliiRezaa, I am angry because u sent a pic to someone that I asked u for that, and having that pic is what I askd u and u didnt care about what I wanted Im angry because I told u that I dont like seeing ur photos in another person page and I saw them daily routin even the pics that I dont have them My Love not being ur priority hurts me so there is anger and range and its consicousne was that I decided not to talk to u U called me today and I went to take a shower and when I returne I didnt call u back as I was pissed off and talking to u even put me on the edge even more I have feeling for u. I want to be a part of ur family and have a family with u but Icant be in this kind of relationship I missed u I need u. and this way of ur presence is not enough for ne

We backed.(Fisrt of March)

could u believe it.?

We started again, to make everyday count.

and sth happened.

It was weird. and the moment that u hold me. I dont know how to describe it and the feeling, I can just say it was awsome.Im still shaking when i think about that.

being in ur arms.and just think about here we are after near 3 months.

we have a long way ahead

and I hope we can be in this way together in thick and thin,ups and downs.

I decided to give u a second chance to myself a second chance because we both desirve this.

ur a real genetlman.what u did today becaus I wanst in a good condition was great and Im really thankful because of this.

 


I realized that I didnt write much in AZAR.

Its sound this month is like the weather which Pp cant breath.

Our relationship,US is like this. at least for me.

U said at the end If U should chose.

I(vida) should leave ur life.

these days my heart isnt in a right place.

and u dont do any attempts to make it right.

its like u dont care and this not caring make everything harder for me.

It was hard that I faced the reality.and figured it out u arenot willing to do anything to be with me.

 

 

 


I was busy at work so I couldnt write about the first time.

the first time that I came to see u when u are Home.

My work hour was finish and I was about to go home and because U didnt answer My heart emoji which I texted u.I called u in the way back to home.

I woke u up and I was near ur home.

and u said come here.

I have no idea why u didnt look me while u asked me to come its weird.


yesterday was one of the best.

we didnt talk for 3 days, I was sad but suddenly I decided to text u in the morning and I did.

U answred me and u said I will come to u, u came we went to a training center and then we went to ur uncle's office and then I said lets go to Sohanak.

we went,and we had a lots of fun then I suggest that lets go for dinner and we went.

we orderd a Indian cousine It was spicy and its bother u more than me.

we went to Tati store.and ur evil and noghty part shows up

u said sth to me ofcourse the whole process was a little discomforting but when I asked u which U said there are a lot of girl that u can see their body why me?!

u answred looking at them is not right but u are the one who I  can and its my right to look at.

P.S : a day after black friday.


we talked around 30 min(s).

and after that u came to university to see me for around just 10 min(s).

u said to me that Its better to I give a chance for live here and star it with find a job.

and I found it.ofcourse I didnt tell u yet(untill now).

sth else happen.I dont know its sth matter or not but for me it was sth significant.

We drunk water from a same bottle for 2 or 3 times.

u have noooo idea how much I tryied to convience myself for if its happen and I was thisty I do this.


kheyli sakhte bedone inke bedoni mn che feshariyo drm tahamol mikonm, behem khorde migiri.

bedone inke bedoni bahs tasadof nis. hameye chizaE k dre mne azar mide roye ham jAm shodn. behem migi harki to in ghaleb rftar nakone shour nadare.

inke hes mikonm zendegim be hich ja vasl nis azab avare

vaziyte ayande shoghli v darsim malom nis.

dshtan v bodane ba to ye alame conditon dare v rasmn conditionl relatioship shode.

va rooz be rooz hame chi sakhtr mishe.

bezar injori behet begm vida avalin chizi bod ke to in donya faghat vse mne.

inke faghat beshinm poshtesho driving konm mitone hale badamo khob kone va hale khobamo ALII

va hala tanha chizi k male mne vasam ghabele estefade nis.

chera fk mikoni reaction mn dar ghebale hameye mASAEl bayad daghighn to charchoobi bashe ke to tArif mikoni?!

mn age begm harfi mishe ghanon sakhtn vali to mitoni bgi chon injori raftar nmikonm shour ndrm?!

are hagh dari.kasi k hameye zendegish conditional shode mnm na to. vse to kheyli rahate migi shod miyam bahat nashod bahat beham miznm.in mnm k bayad be paln B fkonm vaghti k toye plan B dg to hozor ndri va mn mikhm k hich kas dgi ham nabashe.

mn Plan B ro shekl dadm.

az in shahr raftan.shoro ye zendegi ye nafare ye jayei k fght mn bashm v vida.

kash midonesti az diroz ta alan cheghad mno shikondi.cheghad vaghti behet ehtiyaj dshtm be ajye inke kenaram bashii ro be rom darOmadi v leham kardiii.


I want to break up with u.

Im tired of ur behaviour

im tired the way u acting is like there is no one in ur life,is like i dont have any mean to u

there is no place for me in ur life. and i cant continue like that

yes I want to finish it.

u dont have to be with someone while she doesnt mean any thing to u and I deserve to be with someone who love me,who care about me.

and not just take me for gurantee.


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